i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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