Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
