Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
