I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
