East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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