What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
