i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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