someone threw a dead crab at me
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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