Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
we're chasing vodka with high fives
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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