my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
