Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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