Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
They took my balls.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
