hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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