yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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