everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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