you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
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He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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