She just used a chaser for red wine.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
