The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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