never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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