K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
