There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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