glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.