The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We had sex on a dog bed..
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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