She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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