i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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