what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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