Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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