i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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