Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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