after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
