Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies