I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize