Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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