I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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