I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
home. puking in laundry basket.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
