I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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