Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
wow bdsm is so cute
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
