fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Vodka?
Forever.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
