My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Randomize
