apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
