He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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