dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
