Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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