OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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