The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
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the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
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I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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