Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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