Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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