im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
