70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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