i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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