I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
you never un-have a 4some
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
