Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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