Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
