so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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