It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
