he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
