I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
