i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
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