i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
