Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
