I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
