she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize