what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize