I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
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Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
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I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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