I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
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And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
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I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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